i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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