dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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