Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
