shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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