Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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