Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
