Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You made out with two different species that night
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
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