She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
