um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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