"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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