We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
