nut hugger
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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