She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
