sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
