so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
