I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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