i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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