I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
