yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
