You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
