Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
