Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
