btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
