all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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