My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
