Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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