yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
