when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
