I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
