Define "chronic" masturbator.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
