I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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