I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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