so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
