He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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