i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
