thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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