Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize