Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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