ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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