I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
