i need an iv and a liver transplant
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
