There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
