At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this will be a night to untag.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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