The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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