In America we eat man semen.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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