this just has baby written all over it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize