Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
