Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
