i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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