He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
