Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize