i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
