so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
there is glitter all over my balls
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