Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
