Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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