I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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