You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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