I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
