I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
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