So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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