and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
