You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
