after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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