super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
