who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My dick has a subreddit
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
