Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
