I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
