If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
