Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
