I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize