maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
