I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
