'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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