I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
