im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize