i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize