actually, I'm a sock model
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize