The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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