i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
