the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
