Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
